Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Can We Talk About What We Just Saw?



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me preface this by saying that I didn't see this live. Like a bitch, I was in bed sleeping. The lesson here is: never trade sleep for basketball. If Lob City is on the tube, sacrifice whatever sleep you were going to get to watch them. I'll never make this mistake again.

I know people will come up with a million arguments against statement, but this is my absolute feeling: that is the best NBA in-game dunk that I have ever seen. His nose is at the rim, the ball is at the top of the square, his legs are kicked up, my dude Kendrick is murdering him, and he just hangs in the air, cocks the ball back, and throws it in the direction of the rim. If I had seen this live, I think I would have had one of two reactions: either I would have sat there, mouth agape, for a good minute and a half, eyes wide open, barely breathing. That's how I reacted after I saw this live. My other possible reaction would have been jumping up, screaming, and perhaps running around the apartment a little bit and being unable to sit down for 3-5 minutes. That's how I reacted when I saw this live. This would have been well beyond my standard reaction to awesome plays, which is just sitting there with a face like I just took a huge bite of a lemon. That's how I reacted to this, and that's a seriously crazy play. But Griffin's dunk over Perkins? Goddamn. That deserves a much, MUCH more dramatic reaction.

There are a couple of questions that the basketball fan must ask in the face if such a life-changing dunk. The first question is this: is this better than the Mozgov? After reassessing the Mozgov:



the answer is clear. Yes, the one on Perkins is better than the Mozgov. (Also, watch the whole video because it also contains Blake's crazy fast break dunk on Gallinari) First of all, let's just get this out of the way: the Mozgov isn't a dunk. It's a Mozgov. He throws the ball into the rim without touching the rim. So if we're really comparing them as dunks, there's no comparison because one of them actually isn't technically a dunk. However, if we just generally compare them as plays, they're pretty close. The Perkins dunk gets the nod, however, for a few reasons:

1. Blake gets even higher on the Perkins dunk. His nose is at the rim against Perkins, whereas his eyes are at the rim against Mozgov.

2. Perkins fouls the shit out of Griffin, making the degree of difficulty even higher. Mozgov just stood there a took what was coming to him.

3. The force with which Griffin throws down the Perkins dunk appears to be a tad greater than the force with which he Mozgoved. And the forcefulness of this dunk is one of the key factors that makes it great.

Good. That's out of the way. Now here's the next question that basketball fans must ask regarding this dunk: is it the best in-game dunk EVER? That is, is it better than any dunk in any other game besides NBA games? This question ultimately boils down this: is this dunk better than Vince Carter's 2000 Olympic dunk over some French guy? Here's that dunk for reference:



GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOO good.

Okay, so what makes this dunk the best ever? First of all, he clears a straight-up seven footer. He just hurdles that dude. He launches from about 10 feet out, fully extended, jumps over a man who stands at over SEVEN feet tall, and throws the goddamn ball to the floor. He doesn't get as high as he's ever gotten, but he jumps from a significant distance and (I can't stress this enough) he jumps over a guy who is over seven feet tall. This dunk also inspired the design for my favorite shirt that I own. That is an absolutely disgusting dunk.

I'm not even gonna attempt to decide which dunk is better. The fact that I can't decide, that I can't even make an attempt to decide, just shows how unbelievable Blake's dunk is. Blake's dunk reminds me why I love sports as much as I do. I enjoy sports for a lot of reasons: the strategy, the intensity, the stakes, and the emotions that come from rooting for your favorite team. It's a really satisfying emotional experience to be a sports fan. But if that's all that mattered in sports, I might as well just go watch high school basketball or pee wee hockey. What makes professional sports awesome is what we just saw. Blake Griffin can just do that. He just did that. His body allowed him to accomplish that. I don't think it's art, and I don't think it's beauty. I think it's just amazing. I'm amazed by it, and I can't wrap my mind around it. It just doesn't make sense.

If I could do that, I would never complain about anything again. I dunked once in my life (a number of years and a bigger number of pounds ago), and I have to admit that it was the coolest feeling ever. I can't imagine what dunking like that feels like. Blake Griffin must be the happiest person in the entire world. If he's ever feeling down, he can just go to the gym and do that. He's got it made. That's the best anti-depressant in the world.

Sports is better than anything. Watch all the plays in this post and try to prove me wrong. You can't. Like a Jew saying that Chanukkah is better than Christmas on December 25th. There's just no argument. I love sports.

Update: I just watched the Griffin dunk again and almost threw up from how disgustingly unbelievable it was.

1 comment:

  1. Also, whose feelings were hurt more: Perkins's for being humiliated, or DeAndre Jordan's because Blake broke out of the bear hug?

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