Sunday, November 25, 2012

Survivor Pool Week 12

Welcome to the Week 12 suicide pool picks! Now with more suicide.

Speaking of things that bring to mind suicide...

Our Records:
Sean: 14-6
Steve: 13-7
Jon: 11-9

Can we talk for just a moment about how much Tim Tebow must suck to not have even a chance at the starting job right now? There's no question in my mind that he made the right decision not going to Jacksonville and getting the starting job there, because in this situation on the Jets he's managed to maintain some of his aura as a winner. He would have lost 14 games in Jacksonville and that would have been that; in New York he's still a story, even though he's a terrible player. Even in garbage time against the Pats this week Tebow couldn't get off the bench (I'm told he was injured, but there's a chance this a John Lackey Tommy John situation, where he was pretty much told to have an injury).

Jon: This week I'm taking the Bengals over the Raiders because I believe the Bengals suck slightly less and the Titans over the Jaguars. I can't believe I'm saying this but Chad Henne for the Jaguars does scare me, if only because he's such a significant step up from Yo Gabba Gabbert. The Bengals go deep better than most of the league and the Raiders can't cover anybody, as evidenced be their points allowed the last three games: 42 to Tampa Bay, 55 to Baltimore, and 38 to New Orleans.

Steve: I might as well take this opportunity to take the Rams over the Cardinals. Neither John Skelton nor Kevin Kolb will be starting for them. That's right: the Cardinals' starting QB is going to be those guys' BACKUP. They're starting some rookie bitch and they've lost five in a row. WIN, RAMS!

The Eagles and Panthers are playing. This is a matchup of two WORTHLESS AFRICAN AMERICAN GLORY BOY QUARTERBACKS! Every sports writer is racist. I'm taking the Panthers because the Eagles look about ready to roll over and drink hemlock.

Sean: The Bengals are one of those teams that isn't very good but at the end of the season Dalton will have thrown for 4000 yards and AJ Green will have 14 TDs. The Raiders defense is god awful and even though Carson Palmer throws for over 300 yards a week (it's true look it up) their offense is still bad. Basically, NFL stats are ridiculous now. John Elway, Joe Montana, Brett Favre, and Dan Marino have career QB ratings of 79.9, 92.3, 86.0, and 86.4. Today that's Sam Bradford and Christian Ponderville. I got nothing else there, it's just nuts to me.

The Rams are going to beat the Cardinals because the Cardinals are going to be 4-12. Watching the Cardinals suck, the 49ers change QBs because Alex Smith is horrible, and the Rams get blown out by the Jets, reminds me of when everyone was slobbering all over the NFC West. Derp a derp Russell Wilson is a leader. Fuck you Golden Tate. I'm never going to forgive you and your entire crappy division.


  1. How can there be so many bad defensive lines in pro football? You guys often spout off about how rotten so-and-so's defense is, and I keep thinking, wait, aren't these supposed to be elite athletes? Don't the scouts have a huge number of players to choose from what with the Big 17 or whatever it is now, the ACC, Pac-Man or whatever it is, etc etc college football? 'Splain, please.

  2. Being a great athlete and being a good football player aren't mutually exclusive. There are plenty of great athletes who don't have the technique, stamina, coaching, or whatever to be good at football. Also, the offense has plenty of athleticism. The rules of the NFL also favor the offense (more points, more money, and more TV commercials)so the defense is already facing an uphill battle.

    So there are lots of bad defenses because the other guys are athletic themselves and it's already hard to play defense.