Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Whole 42 Letters: Super Bowl Week

Earlier today while at the gym, I watched the NYU D3 Men's Basketball team practice. In one drill they made 25 straight 20 footers from the top of the key. These guys are D3 athletes without scholarships. Later in practice a few players were windmill dunking. My mind is blown. There are literally thousands of basketball players better than them in college and the NBA. I can't imagine how good like the worst NBA players are. Like Brian Scalabrine would dominate against these guys and he sucked more than an OTP HJ. 

On a somewhat related note: here is Steve Novak dunking in practice.

What do you know about the Harbaugh brothers now that you didn't know a week ago? Peter King says they like to roughhouse. Who knew?!?!?

If you've learned anything from this blog, it is that watching ESPN is the worst. So no, I haven't really thought about this game at all. I have a brother and we roughhouse sometimes. I do like how everything I have reluctantly seen basically starts with 'I know we as the media are going to beat this into the ground but...' and then they proceed to beat it into the ground.

Ndamukong Suh apparently saved Louie Anderson from drowning while the two of them were filming the show Splash, which apparently features celebrities diving and nothing else (I think it will be called Celebrities In Danger In The High Dive). Did Roger Goodell make Suh go on this show as punishment? And how will Colin Cowherd find a way to be racist about this?

The Lions' season ended in October, so Suh basically had like 11 months before he was going to play again. It only makes sense that he would work on a hobby like jumping into pools without making a big splash. As for this Louie Anderson character, well, nothing is better than random D-list celebrities and D-list sports stars coming together for anything. The best example of this is like the Celebrity Softball game during the MLB All-Star game-- a must watch television event.

I know it's the ultimate hoary sports cliche, the guy playing his heart out for a deceased loved one (Favre against the Raiders being the prime example), but if Manti Te'o really was the victim of a hoax, then he really believed the "love of his life" to be dead at the time and was nominally playing in her memory. Do you think that actually changed his focus and passion? Couldn't this still be an alienating yet heartwarming sports movie, maybe directed by Michel Gondry, where you don't quite know what's real and what's not?

I don't know about Gondry's availability but this story definitely has the interesting angle of Te'o being inspired by something he believed to be true. Would I watch this movie, think thoughts about it for a bit, and then forget about it? Yeah, probably. 

What's your sign?

I can't really do the Star Trek V and a Peace Sign is sort of played out but I have pretty skinny and long fingers (some would say delicate) that make my West Coast sign look pretty cool.

Besides the USA, what's the best country?

I would have preferred if this question was 'besides France, what is the worst country' but I'll deal. The USA is so much better than everyone else that to put anything in the same breath would be an insult. So it goes USA,
breath, Australia.

Australia has good weather, they speak a language I know but with an awesome accent, and they have that laid-back vibe you get from Foster's commercials.

What are your thoughts on Joe Flacco saying that having a Super Bowl in New Jersey is "retarded"?

Steve pretty much laid the smackdown about his word choice and I agree with him 100%. As far as having the Super Bowl in NYC/NJ next season, it is a really stupid idea. New York is pretty cold right now, not unbearable, but why would you have something when there could be a ton of snow? Also, it isn't exactly confidential information that New Jersey is a dump and MetLife Stadium isn't near anything. So people would basically be shuttling between New York and New Jersey for two weeks. Not ideal. Not ideal.

Explain this Higgs-Boson particle thing.


What are your personal best and worst sports stories either as a player or as a fan?

I'm pretty sure I've written about seeing Derek Jeter get his 3,000th hit with the mystery questioner and my fellow blogists. That is a clear #1 and will probably never be topped.

Seeing Chipper Jones say goodbye to New York and the Mets was pretty amazing as well. 

As a player, winning my first IM Softball championship will always be the height of my athletic career. That's not really a good story but I couldn't let this question go without mentioning the Salami Strokers.

The worst moment was probably watching the Giants beat the Packers 38-10 this season. Chants of Fuck You Rodgers wasn't exactly my plan.

So yeah, those are some times.
Rank your top 5 SB moments (historically or that you've seen)

5. James Harrison returning that interception like 100 yards to end the half against the Cardinals. First of all, it was a game-changing play and there was so much awesome in that one play. First, a big guy running is always awesome. Second, Larry Fitzgerald ran like a bat out of hell down the sidelines and almost tackled him at the one yard line. Additionally, if Harrison didn't score, the half would have been over so this 250 pound man had to run 100 yards (note: this is why guys lateral to the fast defensive backs). This Super Bowl was really under-appreciated Super Bowl.

4. Desmond Howard returning the kickoff against the Pats. Howard didn't really do anything after this season, but we'll always have Super Bowl XXXI.

3. The Helmet Catch. The play should have been whistled dead before the pass was even thrown, but Rodney Harrison tackling him with his HGH strength probably counteracts the Giants' advantage. The Patriots going undefeated would have been too much, so I'm glad that the Giants won that one. On second thought, fuck both teams.

2. Kevin Dyson getting tackled on the 1 yard line on the last play of the game is about as exciting as a Super Bowl can get. St. Louis v. Tennessee isn't exactly a sexy matchup, but that was an incredible ending to the game.

1. The Packers winning the Super Bowl with Aaron Rodgers. This isn't technically a single moment, but it is the only championship that a team of mine won when my age was in double digits. Popping champagne and hugging Jon was amazing (note: he is the most huggable blog member).

If each member of the Girls were a sports team, which team would they be?

Hannah--She's the main character and gets way too much time on the show. She is also immature and annoying. She's the Lakers. She is young and the Lakers are really old, but other than that it is a perfect analogy.

Marnie--She is always #2. She sleeps with weird guys and creates drama to get attention. She's basically like a team signing second-tier free agents to get some headlines. She's the Mets.

Jessa--She is batshit crazy and kind of interesting but really her craziness is getting played out. She's Man City and more specifically Mario Balotelli.

Shoshanna--She is an angel from the heavens. She's the Knicks, Packers, and Braves.

Charlie, Ray, and Donald Glover's Character--The men in this show are sort of underused and actually not bad when you pay attention to them. They are the Grizzlies and Nuggets.

I could go through a lot more characters but I'll probably get thrown off the blog.

To earn back your good graces. Here are the two best pictures on the Internet.

Larry David! Ahhhhhhhh

1 comment:

  1. scalabrine actually recently did a thing about how even a terrible nba player is way better than you think. he played some of the top street players from the boston area and just absolutely killed them.