Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Dan Shaughnessy is an Idiot

This title is pretty obvious and it's low-hanging fruit to call out an out-of-touch hack newspaper writer on a blog, but I can't help myself and am doing a Fire Joe Morgan style takedown of Dan Shaughnessy's latest "picked-up pieces" column. Dan Shaughnessy is one of the last vestiges of an era when people had no choice but to read newspapers, especially in major markets like the Boston Globe where Shaughnessy has written for over thirty years. Due to a limited supply of options, people had to read the opinions of guys like Dan. At this point we can fairly easily yada yada yada why that's no longer the case and breathe a collective sigh of relief that Al Gore invented the Internet.

Dan Shaughnessy is here though. He's here with his thoughts after two weeks at Red Sox spring training. These thoughts might not make sense in any coherent column, but far be it for Danny boy to deprive us of his glorious "picked-up pieces."

Sunday, March 2, 2014

TW42Minutes: Running Diary of the 2014 Oscars

The Oscars are a great celebration of movies with an affinity for boring hosts, Ellen de Generes, "comback" narratives (see Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey), and throwing shade on women's fashion choices. They are smug, pretentious, uncomfortably unfunny, and a great way to spend four hours once a year. The three of us have continued our tradition of keeping a running diary of the Oscars for a third year.

Stay tuned for live updates every twenty minutes throughout the night.

3rd Annual Live Oscar Hatery

7:56 -- Early highlights of the night, using the phrase throwing shade in a sentence to explain the concept to my mom, “You’re throwing shade on that actress by saying, how did her hair and makeup, bleh.” (SP)

8:01 -- This year, I’ve seen 12 Years a Slave (cried), Dallas Buyer’s Club (cried twice!), Inside Llewyn Davis (with Jon!), Saving Mr. Banks, Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, Gravity, Hunger Games, Anchorman 2, and About Last Night. I’m going with the favorites tonight, 12 Years a Slave, Gravity’s Director, McConaissance, Jared Leto, Cate Blanchett, and in a raycess upset over Lupita Nyongo, J-Law to fall on the stairs again as she wins her second Oscar. (SP)

8:11 -- I’m that annoying guy who’s watched one football game all year and then shows up at your Super Bowl party pretending I know everything about football. I saw Inside Llewyn Davis (with Sean!) and that’s it. Having said that, I have strong opinions on all these movies. NEESONS AIN’T GOT NO STATUE?

I don’t know enough to have even an educated guess, but I assume the Oscars will be mad racist and give Gravity the statue over 12 Years. (JM)