Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Dan Shaughnessy is an Idiot

This title is pretty obvious and it's low-hanging fruit to call out an out-of-touch hack newspaper writer on a blog, but I can't help myself and am doing a Fire Joe Morgan style takedown of Dan Shaughnessy's latest "picked-up pieces" column. Dan Shaughnessy is one of the last vestiges of an era when people had no choice but to read newspapers, especially in major markets like the Boston Globe where Shaughnessy has written for over thirty years. Due to a limited supply of options, people had to read the opinions of guys like Dan. At this point we can fairly easily yada yada yada why that's no longer the case and breathe a collective sigh of relief that Al Gore invented the Internet.

Dan Shaughnessy is here though. He's here with his thoughts after two weeks at Red Sox spring training. These thoughts might not make sense in any coherent column, but far be it for Danny boy to deprive us of his glorious "picked-up pieces."


Let's get to his column which can be found in its full glory here.

First, it has to be noted that Shaughnessy's name appears three times in the first three lines.

DAN SHAUGHNESSY

Dan Shaughnessy’s picked-up pieces . . .

Lest we forget for just one second who is writing this column (and given that only old people read these columns, that's a safe bet), Dan put his name right in the title. Bylines are overrated: real writers put their name right in the title.
Information is good. Every sports team can benefit from data.

Dan is happy. Dan writes column. Sports are fun.
But why do I feel like there are people who want to erase all scouting and experience from sports?...But can we just stop the madness and acknowledge that there are some things in sports that never will be quantifiable?
Straw man alert! Obviously those "information is good" geeks are trying to take the jobs of true lunch-pail guys out in the diamonds across blue-collar America scouting for the next Dusty Pedroia. If only we could stop the madness and understand that not every single thing ever can be quantified. 
You know why he hasn’t seen it? Because it’s impossible to evaluate hockey players with data!

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